
Thoughts to help navigate…
Helping children grieve the loss of a pet
Pets are a much loved member of a family. For some children, their pet may be their best friend and when they die, it can be a devastating experience for the whole family. It may be some children’s first experience of death.
With gentleness, kindness and honesty we can help children grieve, process their loss and go through the emotions of this experience.
Podcast Episode 37: Supporting children in grief & loss
I am often asked how to support children who are grieving I am no expert but I am delighted to share this episode of the podcast, where I have a chat to Scott Andrews from the National Centre for Childhood grief.
Knowing how to support a child deal with loss and grief can feel overwhelming. It's hard to know what is the right thing to do to help them. Scott offers gentle suggestions on language to use, whether they should be involved in the process and how grief may show up for children.
Scott is incredibly experienced in this area and shares his wonderful insights on how to help children grieve in healthy ways.
This is an invaluable episode for everyone to learn what we can do to support children and help them feel less alone and isolated in their grief.
Understanding what to do when someone dies and their death is expected
When faced with the passing of a loved one whose death is expected, the decision of whether to call an ambulance can be fraught with uncertainty. It's a moment filled with emotional distress and the desire to do what's best for the person who is nearing the end of life. Here are some factors to consider when grappling with this difficult decision.
Podcast Episode 36: How ashes can help grow a tree
Most people are familiar with the traditional burial and cremation practices, such as using a cemetery, or storing the ashes in an urn. Some people choose to scatter their loved ones ashes but do not realise that this may be harmful to the environment.
Mornington Green Legacy Gardens in Victoria are beautiful botanical gardens situated on the Mornington Peninsula.
They offer an environmentally safe way for people to go back to nature after they die.
The cremated ashes are scientifically treated to avoid causing any harm and are infused into a carefully chosen tree in their beautifully landscaped gardens or forests.
The Legacy Gardens also offer future generations and loved ones a place to come and visit to watch as the tree grows and blossom. It also provides a beautiful space in nature for families to gather, celebrate, and connect
In this episode I chat with Luke Roberts, the co-founder of Mornington Green Legacy Gardens to hear more about this innovative practice
Living Wakes and Funerals
Living wakes and funerals bring a fresh perspective to the often somber affair of saying goodbye. Instead of waiting until after someone has passed away, these events provide an opportunity for individuals to experience the love, appreciation, and gratitude of friends and family while they are still alive. It's a celebration of life that allows the honoree to witness the impact they've had on others and participate in the collective expression of love and nostalgia.
R U OK?
Every year on R U OK? day, our social media is flooded with posts asking R U OK? But we shouldn’t have to wait for a nominated day to ask that question.
It is important to be proactive in reaching out to others. Don't wait for a marked day in the calendar or for them to come to you; take the initiative to check in regularly. A simple text, call, or even a heartfelt conversation over a cup of tea can go a long way in showing someone that you care about their well-being.
Alternatives to "Let me know what I can do to help"
While flowers may provide immediate comfort, there are myriad alternative ways to support someone navigating the challenging journey of loss. Consider these alternatives to flowers
Podcast Episode 34: Living wake/funeral
This episode of the podcast is one that challenges the conventional narratives surrounding end-of-life ceremonies and funerals.
In it, I have a wonderful chat with Tim and Paul, whose mum Mary Anne decided to face her own mortality and embraced the idea of a living wake after deciding not to continue treatment for Bowel cancer.
Often at funerals, people remark to me that it is a shame that the person who died didn’t hear all the lovely things that others had to say about them.
But Mary Anne got the opportunity before her death, to be with her family and friends and to hear the many reasons they loved her at her living wake.
Her loved ones shared and stories and memories and were able to express their gratitude to Mary Anne so she was able to hear how people felt about her before she died.
Tim and Paul offer their different perspectives on this celebration of their mums’ life.
Living wakes or funerals are certainly not for everybody, but the landscape of funerals is changing as we explore alternatives to the solemn occasions that funerals traditionally have been. Whether you are curious about the concept, planning such an occasion for yourself or a loved one, or seeking a fresh perspective on one of life’s inevitabilities, this episode has it all.
Podcast Episode 33: Surviving the unimaginable and learning to move forward following a devastating loss.
We hear it all the time that life changes in a second, and nothing can prepare us for it when that does happen. We all think and hope it will never happen to us.
Jacinda has been living with the loss of her son Harper and his dad Matt, when they were both killed in a freak accident.
Losing 2 people you love at the same time seems unimaginable.
In today’s episode, Jacinda shares with us a glimpse into what life after the loss of a child looks like 4 years on, the unique pain of losing two people you love at the same time, her experience of living with such a loss and learning to find hope when all hope has been lost.
Beyond Blossoms: Thoughtful Gestures in lieu of flowers
While flowers may provide immediate comfort, there are myriad alternative ways to support someone navigating the challenging journey of loss. Consider these alternatives to flowers
Continuing bonds
When someone dies your relationship with them doesn’t have to die too.
Finding new ways to continuing and connect with someone who has died is a healthy and normal part of moving forward after loss.
Role of a Funeral Celebrant
A funeral celebrant is a trained professional who conducts funeral and memorial services, focusing on celebrating the life of the deceased while providing comfort and support to the grieving family. Their primary role is to create a meaningful and personalised ceremony that reflects the wishes and values of the deceased and their family.
Helping a Child Cope with Death
The loss of a loved one is one of life's most profound and challenging experiences, and it becomes even more complex when a child is involved. Explaining death to a child and helping them navigate the emotional journey that follows is a delicate task that parents, caregivers, and educators often face. Children, depending on their age and understanding, may react to death in various ways, and it's our responsibility to guide them through this process with love, patience, and understanding.
Podcast Episode 32: “What to do with cremated ashes?”
As the cost for a traditional burial rises each year and as people have become more environmentally conscious about our land shortage, Cremation has become the preferred choice for many Australians, With over 70% of funerals now involving a cremation.
There is no textbook to tell you what to do in these circumstances, and suddenly you find yourself in a situation having to decide whether to cremate or bury your loved one. Subsequently, you then have to make a decision about what to do with their ashes.
Just recently there was a lot of media coverage about a fan allegedly throwing a bag containing her mum’s ashes at a Pink Concert. And it prompted a lot of people to think what they would do with their loved ones ashes.
Today I have a chat with Oliver & Yaz from the URN Collective to discuss the options on what to do with someone’s ashes.
Links:
Urn Collective
What to do when someone dies at home and their death is expected?
Have you ever wondered what you should do when someone you love dies and their death is expected? It is important to note that these are the steps should someone be receiving care from their doctor and their death is not unexpected.
Is a Funeral for the living or the dead?
Some people may argue differently, but I believe funerals are for the living to remember and honour their dead.
Podcast Episode 31: “Is this normal?”
Jo Lincoln is no stranger to the podcast. In fact, she was my first ever guest and I am absolutely delighted to have her back, talking about her new book - "Is this normal?"
Grief is uncomfortable, it is complex and everyone experiences it differently.
At times it feels overwhelming and all consuming, and indeed very abnormal.
Jo is a death doula, a celebrant, a certified grief educator, a counsellor with Griefline and now a published author.
And today we have a lovely conversation, normalising grief in the early days after someone dies
Links
Podcast Episode 30: Understanding early pregnancy loss
20 percent of women or 1 in 5 may experience a pregnancy loss in the first 20 weeks of pregnancy.
That is 1 early pregnancy loss every 5 mins in Australia. Behind these statistics are real people. So many people walk this lonely road, yet often we never know. It’s such a silent and isolating grief, not being able to talk with anyone about it. And having to act like it never happened...
The chances are someone you know and love will have experienced an early pregnancy loss and it is very important that we all learn how to support grieving parents better.
I have to admit, my experience of miscarriage or early pregnancy loss is from a professional point of view. I have walked with many parents to honour their precious babies but I haven’t experienced this type of loss myself.
But I do know that there isn’t enough understanding of the grief around this type of loss. But I want to educate myself and learn more.
In an effort to being more open to learning how we can support couples who have experienced pregnancy loss, I have invited Karen Schlage to be a guest.
Karen’s 2 babies – Charlie and Sophia both died in the 2nd trimester of each pregnancy. Although it is very bittersweet, Karen is now doing incredible work in honouring them and advocating for those facing pregnancy loss.
This is a wonderful chat and I think we can all learn something from it.